GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Now it’s taken over by these little bastards……

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Sultanas. Little grainy droplets of annoyingness.

 

They’re sultanas, if you don’t understand. And lucky I showed you a photo of clean ones! The ones in my handbag are usually covered with sand and broken plastic remnants from cheap toys.

Gone are the days of leisurely placing your hand in your bag (AND NOT EVEN LOOKING!), and pulling out exactly what you want. Now it takes a good 15 minutes of searching and pulling out numerous broken army men toys, half eaten muesli bars, that piece of toy you were looking for three months ago, and a lid-less lipgloss that has gone bat shit crazy on your handbag lining.

Fridays

That lovely work day where you would count down the hours for FRIDAY DRINKS!! That pure anticipation of where you were going, what you were going to wear and how much fun you were going to have!

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Me. Back in the day.

It used to be:

“Whoop! Will meet you at the pub in an hour! I will order some champagne for starters! Okeys??”

Now it’s:

“Friday? I thought it was only Tuesday. Oh well. Nothing like a rock on night of Better Homes & Gardens and going to bed at 8pm after a glass of wine because I can’t handle my booze anymore.”

Sunday Laziness

Remember them? Where you would get up at whatever bloody hell time you wanted (usually hungover) and choose where you were going for breakfast. All the while talking about the night before and lounging your big fat butt on the couch.

Now it’s like any other day of the week, with just a remnant of how it used to be in the deep dark dungeon of your kid-fried memory.

Swearing

Admittedly, the inside of your head still sounds like the inside of an Irish bar, but externally, you’re now reduced to the sort of entry-level profanity from the script of Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom – Oh bother, Heck, and Geez.

Proper TV

I put the news on at 5pm because it makes me more ‘adulty’. I try and catch the main headlines but I really do need to have super sonic hearing because my child knows I want to be more ‘adulty’ at this time, so in turn screams his little ‘infantile’ head off.

Our house now consists of animation and jingly jangly stupid songs and spoilt brat little bunnies who are way too bloody happy.

Browsing at the Shops

Never have I been so organised in my life before going to the shops. No time to eff around and browse at stuff. It’s all about power walking through the stores, one hand passing numerous amounts of food to my child, and the other hand making ‘get-out-of-the-way’ movements to my fellow shoppers.

Stay too long and look relaxed, and shit will really hit the fan. Your kid may look happy and be on their best behaviour, but if you signal to them that you actually want to try on that skirt in the changeroom, there will be stinky hell to pay.

Romance

Say what? I can barely even pronounce the word, let alone remember it.

Silence

I took it for granted. As Gary from Take That would sing….“I want you back..want you back..want you back for good.”

I so miss you Silence. You were my bestie. The thing I went to when I needed time out.

Now even when I do get the odd chance of Silence, my ears are ringing from all the high level talk action from my kid earlier that day, that I can’t really relish in its glory.

Having Dinner after 6pm

Because, I didn’t think I would be acting out the whole Nanny and Poppy role until I actually had grandkids! But yes, because of the child, we eat waaaaaaay before the sun goes down.

I remember the days of eating when it was actually dark! Dark, I tell you. I don’t think I would even remember how to use my cutlery now if there was no sun in the sky.

Choosing A Restaurant

I vaguely remember going to a restaurant booking at 8pm in the past. Yep.

That’s like my bedtime now.

And then we would stay for two or three hours! Eating and drinking slowly!! WTF??!!

That is a very distant memory.

Now the decisions of where to eat, are all based around the child….

What time do they open? 5:30pm? Cool. We will get there at 5:25pm and wait.

Is it kid friendly? As in, will there be other desperate families there with their kids running around wildly and hardly eating any of their $15 plate of food?

Is there a TV? Man, I hope there is! How else is our kid going to be distracted for a mere three minutes? There has to be a frikken TV. Okay?

Is there room to move? There has to be an outdoor area or something for him to run. Okay? And also in case he has an ‘accident’ on the ground – it’s better outside for this to happen, you see. And his super loud voice gets a little more lost when we sit outside. MAKE SURE THERE IS AN OUTSIDE AREA!!

We order, eat super human fast, don’t even bother ordering wine because there is no time to enjoy it, scream at child to stop running, then leave. All in a handy 27 minutes.

Super efficient. No time for relaxing when going out for dinner now. It’s all about the efficiency. That, and because us Nanny’s and Poppy’s want to be in bed by 8pm.

I miss all these. But you know what, I love my time post -children even more. We sacrifice things to get better things in life.

What do you miss pre-children?

Love (as Reeve says),
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xxoo

p.s. 8pm may be a little exaggeration on my bedtime. It’s actually 8:15pm.

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30 thoughts on “GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

    1. Oh yay! So Friday drinks actually come back? I can’t wait for that. I swear too, don’t worry. But I certainly have had to cut back. I am true blue country girl, so it was super hard for me 😉

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  1. This is everything. The bag thing really hit home. I have so much stuff now for all those “just in case” moments with the toddler- snacks, entertainment, socks, etc. Great post. I definitely miss being able to find things in my bag!

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    1. Oh yeah. I think the handbag thing sticks out for most mothers. I am like you. Take everything – just to be safe. You never know when you might need that toy he hasn’t played with for 12 months. He may just request it 😉

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  2. I actually got invited out for Friday drinks last week. They even planned it in advance in the hope I could arrange it. Sadly my husband was on night shift and all my usual babysitters were unavailable 😦 Just as well my boys are gorgeous!

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  3. HA!!! So many nods to this one. I think I had started to forget that old life until you reminded me with all the things!! haha
    My child-free friend invited us for a late arvo lunch this Saturday and I thought it would be no fuss to get family to watch my son. Turns out it’s a bit of an organising challenge that will turn triumph on the day. When did it become so hard to just leave the house for a meal? WAHHHH! haha.

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    1. Sorry for the reminder. I hear ya. It’s so hard to be spontaneous now. Just a simple outing needs months in advance preparation!! That’s why I hardly go out on my own now….it takes too much energy and planning 😉

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    1. It so is depressing. I got super sad writing it! If I had to choose just one, it would be Friday Night drinks. I loved them. But that would mean I would have to have another four days for recovery – kid free please. My body is just not what it used to be!

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    1. Me too :(. A lot of people try do ‘date night’ to get some alone time. But don’t ask me details. I have no clue how they fit this into their lives. Great idea, but I wouldn’t know where to start!

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  4. They do come back. In slightly different forms, but the older the kids get, the more normal you feel. Ours get their own breakfast these days, which means Saturday morning sleep ins are back on.
    Mind you a sleep in is 730-8, but hey, I’ll take it!

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