The time has come, the Lord has said…….

For my child to turn three years old.


Oh don’t worry. I get constantly reminded how he is growing up and looks older than his nearly three year old body does. Perfect strangers remind every day….

Them: “How old is your boy?”

Me: “He will be three next month.”

Them: “WHA?? Wow. I thought he would be heaps older than that. He looks so much older than nearly three. Wow. Wow.”

They always leave me thinking – Yeah thanks Sherlock! I don’t need to be reminded that my baby has left me and he is turning into a little adult! Thanks for the constant reminder that he may as well be a teenager and my job here IS DONE!! Thanks so very freaking much.

Me: “Oh. Haha. Yeah everyone says that.”

Now piss off, heart breaking stranger.

So as you can see, I am not handling the fact too well about my ‘baby’ growing up and turning three very soon.

No parent wants their kids to grow up. I mean of course we do, as we want them to bloom into beautiful adults and be healthy – which means they have to grow. But every birthday is a reminder that they are one year more on top of that beautiful baby stage, that we so miss.


Anywho, toughen up Kelly and get on with it.

I have decided to do a Spiderman themed party for my son Reeve. He obviously chose the theme, but I thought I would actually stick with this theme instead of just going for something more simple like – a red party. That would be so much easier, but that would also be lazy of me and may represent how shit I am as a party organiser.

Yep. I’m a shit party organiser/host.

I am a graphic designer by trade so you think this shit would come easy to me. But the thing is…….I freak out at details.

If it’s not right – I freak out.

If it doesn’t look correct – the shit hits the fan.

If everyone isn’t enjoying themselves – I hyperventilate.

If the weather is crap – I blame the world.

I am a little sensitive with details.

But I’m gonna try. First of all, there is the cake. I looked on Pinterest the other day (yes, I have gone to the dark side), and selected these little beauties for me to do….

Oh yes. This all looks good now, Kelly. But come to the actual day of decorating the cake….I’m gonna totally FREAK OUT! My creation will definitely be going on those ‘Nailed It – Fails’ websites.

But I have a Spiderman figurine to put on the cake. So that will save the day right? Right? Red cake, Spiderman figurine – BAM! Done.

Details, Schmetails.

Then there is the rest of the food and decorations. Yep. Pinterest has given me some impossible-to-do ideas once again…..

You would hope I would succeed with these little doozies. You would hope. Once the stinking hot weather hits on the day, I am sure the fruit, marshmallows and jelly will go to mush. But these kids are easily pleased.

“Here you go kiddies! There is enough red and blue mush for everyone! Enjoy!”

The pinata will happen. But I sure as hell won’t be making it. Just buying it from The Reject Shop like any other time saving parent. The photo on the right is in my head on how the table will look. The photo in reality, will look a tiny (shitloads lots) bit different I am sure.

Of course a kids party is nothing without a tantrum. And 99% of that time it’s the birthday child that throws it. And they say the ‘terrible threes’ are the worst. Oh yay. Lots of yays for that future memory.

The one thing I have done so far, and am a little proud of (because there was no interruptions and guest hovering around me judging my hosting abilities) is his invite…



No. Of course I didn’t send out the invite with those lovely words. But I wasn’t going to show my readers the party details…because, of stalkers and such – hahaha.

My son is going to have an awesome little party for his third birthday. There will be water balloons (no idea if this is suitable for a small persons party, but what the hey!), and lollies, and carrot sticks (for all those healthy people out there) and friends, and love.

As a nearly three year old I hope he doesn’t have high expectations. I really do hope not. I better get my shit together for the next parties he has though. Because apparently ‘party theming’ is a true competition thing amongst parents in this world?

And like I said, the time has come, the Lord has said……to give Kelly the strength and confidence to pull this bloody Spiderman party off.

My brain is saying, there will be sunshine and rainbows. Spiderman will be high fiving the bad guys because all is good in the world. Everyone will be happy and healthy and talk about this day for the rest of their lives.

And then reality will hit when the day actually arrives. And it may not, but most probably, go to shit. Up shit creek with no paddle and Spiderman pulling a brown eye at me.

Anyone had a disaster of a kids party that they planned? More importantly, has anyone done a Spiderman themed party for their child? Give me ideas people! PLEASE!!

Love (as Reeve says),


p.s. The day will surely be something up in the high 40 degree mark. Yay for Australian weather. So if it all goes to shit, the kids can go crazy with water balloons and the sprinkler. And I can just drink wine to hide all the hopeless (but I tried to) stuff I did.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT



  1. Hahaha! Sucker! CHOCOLATE my girl, CHOCOLATE CAKE. I’m far too scared to use that fondant stuff, that shit scares the crap out of me! We are having a chocolate cake and sausage sizzle for Finn’s birthday party next month, there may even be sausage rolls. I’m also hosting Christmas AND Boxing Day so EASY is in my vocabulary for his birthday party. No Spiderman sadly! Good luck! I bet it ends up awesome πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the tip! Chocolate cake it is. And hell no will I be using fondant. I know I gave you false advertising with those Pinterest pics, but icing is my game, not freaking fondant! How cute that our boys are turning 3 together! Good luck with your parties! x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “Now piss off, heart breaking stranger.” BAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH! And cannot WAIT to get the updated version of the disaster, errr… I mean “party” that is set to unfold here… And not just because I royally FUCK UP every thing like this I attempt. Not at all…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are the reason I am not making the cake from scratch! You reminded me ages ago about how I can’t substitute stuff when I bake. Packet cake it is for my son. Only the best, of course – Coles brand. Photos to come, my love, but don’t you dare judge me! Well you can if you want, but just make sure it’s funny πŸ™‚ x


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