10 STUPID THINGS TO SAY TO A STAY AT HOME MUM

“I wish I could stay at home all day with the kids instead of working.”

Up yours stupid. I haven’t gone to the toilet in peace for years, and my hair is permanently kinked in this messy bun up-do.

“What do you do all day?”

Oh nothing. Just keep a human alive. It’s very basic really. I just make very important decisions on this particular humans life, plus try and keep myself alive too. It’s really nothing compared to your big fancy job in the city.

What do you do all day, besides ask insulting questions?

“Do you ever think you will go back to work?”

Probably not. I love being at home sitting on my arse all day, drinking coffee and getting massages. Parenting is so freaking easy. Why would I actually want to leave the job I am doing now? Oh sorry, it’s not a job according to you. Just a free and easy ride.

“Do you do anything else, besides be a parent?”

Oh of course. I am also a travelling circus performer; running for Prime Minister; I run a marathon every day, and also race unicorns in the land of It’s-so-easy-to-parent.

I have so much time as a parent, that I need all of my hobbies.

“I could never do what you do.”

I know that. That is why you are asking these very intelligent questions.

“Is being a Stay At Home Parent boring?”

Depends what you call boring. If wiping small peoples butts and yelling at them to stop licking the ground is your idea of an awesome time, then parenting is really going to be your thing.

“I’m just checking in because you didn’t respond to my phone call from three minutes ago.”

I don’t use my phone for talking now. If you ring, I won’t answer it. My kid is too busy playing with it for starters, and it is also on a permanent setting of ‘Silent Mode’. Before ringing me, please ask yourself ‘Is this textable?’. I am happy to get back to your texts, but it probably won’t be in this calendar year. Just hold out for 8 – 28 months please.

“Enjoy every minute!”

Like, every single minute? Even the ones where my kid is screaming so loudly, dogs from China can hear him? I’m not so sure.

“You look so tired all the time.”

No shit, Sherlock. I have kids. This is my permanent look now.

“So, you’re JUST a Mum?”

Please walk away from my life and never come back.

Have you had any random comments or questions from strangers about being a Stay At Home Parent? Please let me know in the comments section below.

Love (as Reeve says),

xxoo

p.s. Personally, I have had a couple of these said to me, but not all of them. I think mostly are said quite innocently from the other end, but sometimes it’s smart to think before you say.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT