Yesterday, I had a rare treat and went grocery shopping by myself. Wow. I never thought in my life that grocery shopping would be a luxury. But yes, as a parent, it has come to that.

In this very rare ‘holiday’ of mine, I got to breathe slowly!! In through my nose, out through my mouth, and everything! Like a normal person!! I never once had to yell at my offspring to STOP TOUCHING STUFF! I didn’t have to grab snacks from my handbag for him. I didn’t even have to power walk through the supermarket so I could just get the hell out of there before he would get bored with this adventure and completely lose it.

Because………………………he wasn’t there!!!

It was just me, myself and the stupid broken trolley.

So awesome. And no, I am not being sarcastic. It truly was a mini-break.

The broken trolley who was going to be my friend for the next 20 minutes.
The broken trolley who was going to be my friend for the next 20 minutes.

I was able to ramble through the aisles (sideways, because of the bastard trolley) and slowly take (not grab rampantly) items off the shelf. It was lovely.

Because of the relaxation of it all, I actually had time to peek at other people’s groceries in their trolleys. It actually feels like a bit of an intrusion when you look at other people’s choices, don’t you think? As we all know, people can get a bit Judgey McJudge on grocery options….

Trolley Items: Chips, soft drink, chocolate, ice-cream, tissues.
Judgey McJudge says: “Someone just got dumped”.

Trolley Items: 28 bottles of UHT milk.
Judgey McJudge says: “Camping for seven weeks, or running from the law”.

Trolley Items: Pizza pockets, dorito chips, soft drink, 8 bbq chickens, Happy Gilmore DVD.
Judgey McJudge says: “Someone is stoned”.

Trolley Items: Tofu, bean shoots, and almond milk.
Judgey McJudge says: “Latest season of The Biggest Loser has just started”.

Trolley Items: Random items that just make no sense at all.
Judgey McJudge says: “Someone forgot to bring their shopping list”.

As I looked around at the choices my fellow shoppers were grabbing, I took a look down at my own trolley. I know groceries can say a lot about someone, so I made my own judgment on what items I chose…….

  • Bananas. Too green to eat now. Too ripe to eat in a few days. These will be made into banana bread and sit in the freezer next to the other 5 loaves.
  • Quinoa. My ‘I’m-so-healthy-right-now-but-not-tomorrow’ token purchase. It will never be opened. It will just sit in the dungeon part of the pantry along with the red quinoa, black chia seeds, and organic potato flour.
  • Disinfectant. My kid is a male. He is toilet training. This item will be on my shopping list every week, for the next ten years.
  • Raspberries. The most expensive and shortest shelf life item in the world. These insanely overpriced berries will be eaten on my way home, in the car. There is no way in the world that my payment of $8.99 a punnet will die in vain.
  • Chocolate. It’s been a hard week.
  • Frozen Pizza. For that ‘I-can’t-be-arsed-cooking-day’.
  • Toilet Rolls. In packs of 20. See ‘Disinfectant’ point above.
  • Batteries. For the movement of my kids toys. I call bullshit on the guarantee of ‘3 year lifelong’ tagline. More like, ‘3 minutes in your kids remote control car before we die immediately, your kid screams, and you will be hunting us arseholes down in the shops again’.
  • Bread. Bread. And more bread. For those days when toast just has to cut it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  • Wine. It’s been a bloody hard week.
  • Room Deodoriser. I live with two males. Also see ‘Disinfectant’ and ‘Toilet Paper’ points above.
  • Butter and Vegemite. To keep those toast days a bit more interesting. Yep, variety is my middle name.
  • Can of Chickpeas. You can never have enough cans of chickpeas. I have a collection in my pantry. I think I am up to 16 now.
  • Coffee. To keep me alive.
  • More Wine and Chocolate. Because. Shutup, I go to the gym. Sometimes.

Do you have a standard shopping item that’s always in your trolley? Are you a Judgey McJudge person when it comes to other people’s items?

Love (as Reeve says),


p.s.  I actually saw someone have SPAM in their trolley too!! What??!! Who even buys that stuff anymore? If you do, please explain to me all your reasons why you aren’t a weirdo.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

The Twinkle Diaries


  1. Ewwww I didn’t know you could even still buy Spam!

    My grocery staples are almond milk, oat milk, cow’s milk (2 types) and coffee pods. Every person in my house drinks a different kind of milk. FFS.

    Soon to add disinfectant and extra TP to the list for starting toilet training!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s very wrong. It should be illegal to sell that stuff. Ham in a can? No thanks.

      Of course everyone in your house drinks a different type of milk. They all like to make it difficult for us shoppers, don’t they?!

      Yep. You are going to need litres of disinfectant. Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Coffee is always number one in my trolley. 6 loaves of bread is pretty standard, snack chips, biscuits (I swear I bred two cookie monsters) and yoghurt. I try to avoid buying chocolate and wine or I’ll just get drunk and eat it all at once and that wouldn’t be pretty!

    PS: What do you plan to do with all those chick peas?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yoghurt is always on my list too. We go through so much of it. Umm, isn’t that the point of getting wine and chocolate? To eat it all and get drunk?

      I have no idea what I will do with the chickpeas yet. Maybe something with craft? Ewww. No. Maybe I will use them when I am having one of those health crazes I go through.


  3. Ha ha love it ! The other day while shopping with the kids Luke 6, asked for a mud cake you know the $4.50 one, being a “cake decorator” I ever so carefully made sure no one was watching and swiftly placed it in the basket! I think I got away with it safely without running into any customers!! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This post is hilarious! I am totally and a more often than not a ‘random stuff in my trolley’ mama…especially on the rare occasion I don’t have the two kids with me. I get all kinds of excited and shove whatever I want in xoxo p.s. Yeah…spam?! why does that still exist?!!! xoxo #TwinklyTuesday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We get a bit excited and don’t think straight when we don’t have our kids with us. So, I get you :). I think I shop more efficiently when I have my child with me!! That doesn’t sound like it makes sense, but it is true.


    1. Oh you are a bit lucky! I would do the same if I lived right next door to a grocery store. I always forget something when I go shopping! Always! And I take a list most times, so god knows how I forget something. Would be handy to have a shop next to me for all the forgotten items.


    1. Of course. Milk is like water to all parents. We go through so much of it here! Buying a cow is not such a bad idea you know. Except for the whole milking it part. That part would be a bit crappo.


  5. I love it. I have never thought to look at other peoples shopping before now, but I think you have just invented a fantastic new game. #TwinklyTuesday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really?? I must be super nosey then. I always have done it. But it gets super awkward if the person catches you looking at their items. You can learn a lot from a person and their grocery items :). Do it next time you go to the supermarket!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahahaha oh god I love this. We have the same trolley! I have stupid quinoa in the pantry (never used), frozen bananas (for banana bread I’m baking TOMORROW) and about 57 cans of chickpeas (which I am trying to use up by making healthy ‘felafel fingers’ for Charlie, who never eats them anyway). We also eat FAR TOO MUCH vegemite toast around here 🙂 PS Also a surreptitious trolley stickybeak, but I AM a journo, it’s my JOB to be nosy :))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well you beat me on the chickpea count! I use them for salads every now and then. They are a pretty boring ingredient if you think about it. No idea why I collect these things. And yes, I know you are a vegemite toast freak! Me too 🙂


  7. Hahaha! Love this post. My trolley is full of lollies. This says that I quit chocolate almost a year ago, but damned if I’m going to let that fact stop me from going on a sugar high! We ALWAYS have six litres of milk in the trolley. It probably makes us look like an efficient once-a-week shopping family, but that’s only two days’ supply. Three, max. We LUURRRVE milk.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Haha Im also a total Judgey McJudge when I go shopping! If someone looked in my trolley today they’d be mighty confused! Its my daughters bday party on Saturday and I picked up all the last minute things I needed… oranges, cream, cheese slices (the gross cheap kind but stick the bread together well for little kids), yogurt, chocolate, lolly snakes.. the list goes on, people probably wondered where I put all that food given I’m not that big lol

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ha ha. I love this! Usually I have two little boys wreaking havoc when I go shopping, but I do love to sticky beak at other people’s items at the checkout. You can always tell when someone has a baby at home, or is having a bbq or a party!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. They still sell Spam?! My trolley always has antibac wipes (house of boys), multiple loaves of bread (some days we go through an entire loaf in one day), so much milk, about 20 bananas (which will be eaten in three days), chocolate and wine (no need to give explanation there), and coffee! I love food shopping by myself too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hilarious! And yes, grocery shopping alone is the pinnacle of luxury in my life. I believe I get to do it again in July. Thanks for being such a wonderful part of #TwinklyTuesday.

    Liked by 1 person

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