All of us can be a bit lazy sometimes. I know I can be…..like, maybe twice a year or something. Most of the time, I try my best, and work my hardest. But just like all of us…..we can have those “Meh, whatever” days where a simple excuse is used.
I thought some of my readers can relate to the excuses I have listed below. Feel free to use some of these yourself, but don’t overkill them people. No one wants to hear a ‘whinging-cat’ everyday.
The EXCUSES I feel I need to use (and most parents out there), have been broken up into two categories…..
Understandable Excuses – these are ones that are obviously necessary to use. If you use one of these buggers, everyone understands. They are still excuses you see, but they are really really good ones, and no one is going to question you on them.
Completely Useless Excuses (translation – I am a lazy bitch) – these are just laughable, but you are so lazy at this point in time, you couldn’t give a shit.
“Sorry I’m late. My toddler threw a tantrum because I didn’t allow him to start the car….long story, don’t ask” – everyone, and I mean everyone, will get this. They will never question you on this one, as kids are the main reason we are usually late. And if it was your own damn fault that you were late, well, then still use this excuse.
“I think I am getting sick and I didn’t want to spread my germs” – for not going to the gym; or going to work; or cancelling the dreaded dentist appointment; or just if you can’t be arsed leaving the house. No one wants to get your disgusting germs, so they won’t blame you for not coming in. You may even get some sympathy with this one…….but don’t get too overconfident and start pretend coughing and stuff. Don’t be the person that destroys this excuse for the rest of us.
I couldn’t think of anymore than two of understandable excuses. All the leftover ones are just lazy and ridiculous (see below). You would think I would have an excuse for not thinking of anymore of these excuses, huh?
COMPLETELY USELESS EXCUSES
“I am 99% sure my body can hold it” – to use when you have just curled up into your super comfy bed, got into the best sleeping position, and then your bladder turns into an annoying little urgent voice! No body function is going to make us get out of our warm beds. Toughen up bladder! I can’t hear youuuuu!
“It looks like it’s going to rain” – when you see a smallish, lightish, greyish cloud in the sky and decide to use the dryer for your wet towels, instead of walking 10 metres outside to hang them out. Or, to not wash your disgusting unrecognisable car, as that means the chance of using some energy.
“Oh, I didn’t even see it/that” – for tidying up the clothes strung all over your kids room, or just anything that hasn’t been put back in its correct place i.e. shoes, pantry food, ironing, last years Christmas decorations. Selective blindness can be one of the best excuses.
“I’ve hardly eaten all day” – for use on pig-out days. It’s okay if you eat that whole packet of biscuits, plus that burger and chips, plus a 1 kilo chocolate bar, plus anything that resembles junk food…….because you have hardly eaten all day, remember?
“Meh” THE MOST LAZIEST EXCUSE – This can be used as you step over your kids toys for the 176th time, that somehow have appeared in the middle of your loungeroom…..again!! You know they are there, but you can’t be bothered to bend over and pick them up…….yes, again! If you do use this excuse though, you will get no sympathy from anyone….you are just really lazy.
By the way…….why the hell am I the only one in the house that picks up stuff???
Oh, I know all of them are pretty pathetic excuses, even the Completely Understandable ones. But we all use them to get out of stuff sometimes. And also because we are either tired, or are too busy to divert from our current task, so we push the other crap to the side – but somehow using an excuse makes us feel better.
Anyone else use these excuses to get out of something? Or do you have your own brilliant excuses? Please let me know in the Comments section below. You can also post on my Facebook page. Please SHARE and LIKE if you do enjoy reading :). I am also on Twitter and Instagram if you really want to love me.
p.s. The ‘messy book’ situation was actually cleaned up by my husband this time. Only because I used a mixture of excuses, “Sorry, can you do it? I think I am getting sick, and I need to go to the toilet but can’t be bothered, and it looks like it’s going to rain so I had better get stuff out of the dryer……actually, meh.”