EXCUSES, EXCUSES

All of us can be a bit lazy sometimes. I know I can be…..like, maybe twice a year or something. Most of the time, I try my best, and work my hardest. But just like all of us…..we can have those “Meh, whatever” days where a simple excuse is used.

I thought some of my readers can relate to the excuses I have listed below. Feel free to use some of these yourself, but don’t overkill them people. No one wants to hear a ‘whinging-cat’ everyday.

The EXCUSES I feel I need to use (and most parents out there), have been broken up into two categories…..

Understandable Excuses – these are ones that are obviously necessary to use. If you use one of these buggers, everyone understands. They are still excuses you see, but they are really really good ones, and no one is going to question you on them.

Completely Useless Excuses (translation – I am a lazy bitch) – these are just laughable, but you are so lazy at this point in time, you couldn’t give a shit.

That is a reasonable excuse for not showing up. (image from www.intheequation.com)
That is a reasonable excuse for not showing up. (image from http://www.intheequation.com)

UNDERSTANDABLE EXCUSES

“Sorry I’m late. My toddler threw a tantrum because I didn’t allow him to start the car….long story, don’t ask” – everyone, and I mean everyone, will get this. They will never question you on this one, as kids are the main reason we are usually late. And if it was your own damn fault that you were late, well, then still use this excuse.

“I think I am getting sick and I didn’t want to spread my germs” – for not going to the gym; or going to work; or cancelling the dreaded dentist appointment; or just if you can’t be arsed leaving the house. No one wants to get your disgusting germs, so they won’t blame you for not coming in. You may even get some sympathy with this one…….but don’t get too overconfident and start pretend coughing and stuff. Don’t be the person that destroys this excuse for the rest of us.

I couldn’t think of anymore than two of understandable excuses. All the leftover ones are just lazy and ridiculous (see below). You would think I would have an excuse for not thinking of anymore of these excuses, huh?

excuses_quote

COMPLETELY USELESS EXCUSES

“I am 99% sure my body can hold it” – to use when you have just curled up into your super comfy bed, got into the best sleeping position, and then your bladder turns into an annoying little urgent voice! No body function is going to make us get out of our warm beds. Toughen up bladder! I can’t hear youuuuu!

“It looks like it’s going to rain” – when you see a smallish, lightish, greyish cloud in the sky and decide to use the dryer for your wet towels, instead of walking 10 metres outside to hang them out. Or, to not wash your disgusting unrecognisable car, as that means the chance of using some energy.

“Oh, I didn’t even see it/that” – for tidying up the clothes strung all over your kids room, or just anything that hasn’t been put back in its correct place i.e. shoes, pantry food, ironing, last years Christmas decorations. Selective blindness can be one of the best excuses.

Wow. I didn't even see these books on my kids floor for the last week. When did that happen?
Wow. I didn’t even see these books on my kids floor for the last week. When did that happen?

“I’ve hardly eaten all day” – for use on pig-out days. It’s okay if you eat that whole packet of biscuits, plus that burger and chips, plus a 1 kilo chocolate bar, plus anything that resembles junk food…….because you have hardly eaten all day, remember?

“Meh”  THE MOST LAZIEST EXCUSE –  This can be used as you step over your kids toys for the 176th time, that somehow have appeared in the middle of your loungeroom…..again!! You know they are there, but you can’t be bothered to bend over and pick them up…….yes, again! If you do use this excuse though, you will get no sympathy from anyone….you are just really lazy.

By the way…….why the hell am I the only one in the house that picks up stuff???

I need to get me one of these shirts. (image from www.tshirtpusher.com)
I need to get me one of these shirts. (image from http://www.tshirtpusher.com)

Oh, I know all of them are pretty pathetic excuses, even the Completely Understandable ones. But we all use them to get out of stuff sometimes. And also because we are either tired, or are too busy to divert from our current task, so we push the other crap to the side – but somehow using an excuse makes us feel better.

Anyone else use these excuses to get out of something? Or do you have your own brilliant excuses? Please let me know in the Comments section below. You can also post on my Facebook page. Please SHARE and LIKE if you do enjoy reading :). I am also on Twitter and Instagram if you really want to love me.

Love (as Reeve says),
Yes_Peas_Mumma_signature

xxoo

p.s. The ‘messy book’ situation was actually cleaned up by my husband this time. Only because I used a mixture of excuses, “Sorry, can you do it? I think I am getting sick, and I need to go to the toilet but can’t be bothered, and it looks like it’s going to rain so I had better get stuff out of the dryer……actually, meh.”

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35 thoughts on “EXCUSES, EXCUSES

  1. Haha, I have used all of them, except the dryer one and that is only because I don’t have a dryer! I am a total fan of selective blindness or the classic ‘I didn’t hear him’ when one of the kids gets up in the night and you pretend to be asleep for dear life so your husband has to get up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I only got the dryer a couple of weeks ago, and I swore that I wouldn’t use unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY! That plan failed obviously. Yeah I would use the I didn’t hear him excuse, but my husband sleeps so heavily, that the poor kid would be screaming forever. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am also the only one who picks anything up at my house! Wtf is with that?! My son’s excuse is always that he’s too busy. I genuinely believe that my husband doesn’t even see stuff – he proves this by tripping over plasplastic crap 100 times a day! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is because, we are female. Males don’t seem to have the body function of bending and picking things up. Your son is too busy?? Your kid is super funny. And yes, males don’t have selective blindness……they are just blind, full stop.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My family have the best lame excuses…

    “I think I might be allergic to that washing powder” – my sister’s excuse for not doing the laundry.

    “You’re so much better at it than me” – my husband’s reason for not cooking.

    “Sorry mum I’m a bit busy right now…watching TV” – my 3yr old’s answer when I asked her to help me clear up.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The best excuse ever…..sorry I’ve got 3 kids under 4 ….works for everything ….seas part and people nod in horror … lol . Works a charm 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! I am sooooo sick of cleaning up toys. My son does help, because I think that’s important for him to learn, but I still am the one picking up most of them! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

  5. Hahaha love this. Another good excuse is “sorry I would have been here sooner but the baby puked all over me as I was leaving” soon followed by an all knowing eye roll/sigh and “oh the glamour of motherhood”. after 6 months of sleepless nights surely we’re aloud this perk right???

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yes, the excuses – they can be great except when someone uses them on you! The one about the goldfish dying makes me lol #wineandboobs x

    Liked by 1 person

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