The other day it was raining and windy, and just a complete crap weather day. Anyone who is a parent knows that bad weather and toddlers are a bad combination. You have to stay inside alllllllll day with a crazy-doesn’t-stop-moving-whinging-bored-child. And that just ain’t cool.
Then I remembered………the local show was on!!
WE ARE SO GOING TO THAT SHOW! LET’S BLOW THIS JOINT!! I shouted to my kid, “Come on homie, let’s get out of this hell hole and go to the show!“.
I didn’t really. I just thought this sounded funny.
Once we arrived, I prayed the weather would get better. It didn’t.
I prayed I wasn’t going to get ripped off with show entry fee and parking. I did.
I prayed they served free wine at the show with really yummy free food samples. They should have.
But Reeve and myself really did have a good time. I took plenty of photos, so you can see just what an muddy agricultural show looks like……
After I had parked my car in the smelly mud carpark, I realised I had forgot to bring a raincoat and umbrella. My urgent rush to get out of the house came with consequences. Stupid girl.
But we did get the opportunity to get a tractor ride into the show……this day was slowly getting better. Reeve was a bit nervous about the whole tractor thing though……but there was no way in hell I was trudging through mud for 300 metres to get to the show gate! You’re getting on board that tractor kid!
After elegantly exiting the tractor into a mud puddle, I was now starting to look like I really belonged on this cow poo farm land.
First up, was the baby animal farm. This, my friends, was what I was looking forward to the most!! I loooove baby animals. Who doesn’t??
So I was the crazy Mumma who pushed all the kids out of the way to hold a baby chicken. Again, we had to pay to get into this area (money hungry bastards), and then pay more money to feed them. But the baby animals were so adorable (*high pitched squeals with delight)! I wanted to steal them all…….
I held a squirmy duckling, who seemed to have a sixth sense for my insatiable hunger of ducks (see my past blog From the Mouth of my Interesting Child to understand what I am talking about), and jumped right from my hands onto the ground below. Time stood still while I imagined the duck had splatted on the ground, but it was fine – thank christ!
The baby chicken was my favourite….I mean, Reeve’s favourite. So cuuuuuute!! It shat on Reeve’s hand, which was hilarious, but we still loved the little bugger.
Next on the agenda were……..THE COWS.
The cows are very boring, but at least Reeve enjoyed them…..for maybe five minutes. We listened to them ‘Moo’, and then decided they didn’t do much else except poo, in large amounts. So we grabbed a photographic moment, and moved on…..
Up ahead, was a big pile of dirt with spades for kids to dig in. I thought, “Hey, we are covered in enough mud, let’s add some dry dirt on top of us”, so we started to dig. It was for kids to dig up their own potatoes – pretty cool idea. This was the only free thing we got at the show…..a potato.
If me getting covered in mud, and now dirt was not enough…..I now had the local news camera and reporter in my face interviewing me on what I thought about the agricultural show. To say the least, I freaked out and mumbled my words the whole way through.
All I could think about was…”Was there mud on my face?”, “Is my mascara all dripping down my cheeks?”, “Aren’t these bloody reporters supposed to give you warning before they ram a camera in your face?”.
They must have thought I was some homeless lady in the end, as my face was never shown on the local news that night…..Woohoo!!
Reeve was starting to get a bit restless now, so we wandered over to sideshow alley and where the kid rides were. “Yay Reeve, you get to go on a ride! Are you excited?”, I squeaked. “Yes Mumma!”, he squeaked back. I bought the ticket from the carny*, and got him ready to go on the ride…..
Then the interesting looking carny folk (all 4 of them), decided to get all up in his face and scare the crap out of the kid. They talk realllllly loud, and normal talk for them is shouting, and some of them are reallllly big. So Reeve freaked a bit.
Of course, Reeve didn’t go on the ride after having a near heart attack from the shock of the carnies. But at least I got my money back……very reluctantly from the loud talking dude, I must say.
To cheer my scared kid up, we wandered over to the sideshow alley to play one of those rip-off games. Oh yeah, the carnies give you their word that they aren’t ‘fixed’, but if you believe a carny, then you must be a carny yourself.
Anyway, I wanted Reeve to stop crying, so I paid the $10 to play the game where you throw the balls into a bucket. Can’t be that hard…..and for $10 I better get something!!
I was crap at this game obviously, as I won a piddly little stuffed angry bird. The most expensive stuffed animal in the universe. I should have just stolen one of the baby chickens for him.
We did a few more things – saw some chickens; touched a massive lizard; ate some chips, chocolate and all things bad; sat on a mower; and watched the big people rides. But Reeve was a bit over the whole thing now and getting tired.
So we hopped back on the tractor to get our ride back to the car. Of course, the only seats left were right behind the tractor wheels, so we got some more mud splashed on our faces for the trip back.
I wondered if I even looked human anymore.
At the end of the day you know you have been to a show when you walk away looking like a carny. And visitors ask you directions to the show, because they think you work here.
I’m glad we went (sort of), as Reeve had a great time. But next year it had better not be raining! And the squirmy duckling better love me! And I want more than a potato. And I better not get ripped off again! And the carnies had better back off from my kid!
If you have been to your local show this year already, please leave your memories below in the Comment section, or also post on my Facebook page. Please SHARE and LIKE if you do enjoy reading :). I am also on Twitter and Instagram if you really want to love me.
p.s. When we got home and got out of the car, the sun decided to appear and it finally stopped raining! Whaaaattttt????!!!!! I was a bit pissed off.
*Carny is a term for the people who look after the rides and sideshow alley.