Obviously this isn’t a newsflash to anyone. Everyone knows cleaning is a crap job. I have heard some people do enjoy it, but I think these people may live in a world far away…..that I have never heard of…..that no one here has ever visited….these people cannot possibly exist.

Batman despises people who like to brag about their love of cleaning.
Batman despises people who like to brag about their love of cleaning.

Before having my son, I got all my housework done in one Saturday morning. The floors were vacuumed and mopped. The bathrooms and toilets were sparkling their arses off (pun intended) . Every room was super fresh, tidy, and just how it was supposed to be. Even stupid things like my cupboards and pantry were organised and tidy.

I would then sit back with a coffee and survey my amazing work. Oh the satisfaction! Yes! I have done all the shitty cleaning for another week and my house looks freaking awesome!! Let’s go to the pub!

I would even then ring my bestie (because she did her housework on a Saturday morning too), and we would be so excited that the crappest job in the world was ticked off for another week. We wouldn’t talk too long about it because that would be just weird.

Insert a child into this situation, and cleaning now is split into days/hours/and whenever the hell it works for me.

Shortcuts happen here and there…..I run out of disinfectant and just throw whatever product I have in my cupboard under the sink I have into the water. This can include anything from washing detergent, sunscreen, Mr Sheen, toilet duck, or even those dishwasher tablets. Sometimes you just have to be creative.

My weapons of choice. No bleach because I had run out....again.
My weapons of choice. No bleach because I had run out….again.

I sprint from one room to the other with spray bottle in hand, covering everything in site with pine-o-clean. I imagine myself as an awesome female cop that has to shoot all the dirty targets….which would be every square inch of my house.

My vacuum cleaner shits me even more now that I have to hurry. My walls have massive dents in them (I sorta blamed Reeve for them), from me pulling the crap out of the vacuum hose because the bastard once again got stuck around the corner or on a piece of furniture. I have honestly had arguments with my vacuum cleaner because it does not work with how I want i.e. fast and cat like around corners.

THE VACUUM CLEANER - My sworn arch enemy which can't manoeuvre around simple corners.
THE VACUUM CLEANER – My sworn arch enemy which can’t manoeuvre around simple corners.

The whole house now smells like bleach and I swear I have burnt all the hairs in my nose from the fumes, but I am mildly satisfied. No where near satisfied like I used to be pre-children. Just mildly satisfied.

Cleaning these days also involves me warning the other two household members (husband and child) that if they dare dirty up my clean floor in the next 30 minutes, Mumma will have a meltdown. A big dirty meltdown that they will have to clean up by themselves. I kindly yell at them to please let my house be clean for 24 hours……or even a couple of hours….30 minutes then. I can live with 30 minutes.

I don’t have time to bloody clean these days! I am trying to raise a human being that likes to wipe their dirty hands on everything. Thinks that it’s fine to eat fruit while walking around half naked. And believes it’s okay to throw their clothes around the house, and then walk around them like they don’t exist for weeks! And I am just talking about my husband here, I also have a toddler I am trying to guide…..hehehehe!

So now that cleaning has to be done over the course of a week, I never get to bask in the glory of a nice clean house. Only parts of it are clean at one time. And once every cleaning job has been ticked off my list…..I have to start all over again the very next day!! Aaarggh!! Up yours cleaning! You are ruining my life.

As a stay-at-home parent I know that cleaning is one of my duties. I also know that I am my own worst enemy, as I really enjoy living in a clean environment. But I HATE CLEANING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

My wish for Mother’s Day is a cleaning lady please. But you know I will be one of those people who go around and clean the house before the cleaning lady comes over. I will not be judged by my cleanliness on my house, especially by a cleaning lady.

This is just a rant over something that has to happen in my daily life. I actually just finished cleaning my bathrooms and toilets. So you can understand that I am a stinky mood (pun intended). I had to write this down because I know everyone that ever lived has to relate to this in someway….especially if you have children.

So if you would like to share in my comment section below how your cleaning routine has changed since having kids. Or even what you hate cleaning. Would love to hear your whinging and complaining comments please :).

Please SHARE  this post if you do enjoy reading, or LIKE my facebook page. I am always after new readers and fellow Mummas.

Love (as Reeve says),


p.s. I am going to go get another vacuum cleaner in the next week and send my current one straight to hell.


14 thoughts on “CLEANING SUCKS!

  1. A never ending job, cleaning we dread it but love and feel satisfied once it is done. Sorry no tips, very hard with small children. By the look of your last post Mother with a Capital ‘M’ you are training Reeve well – trying to clean up his own mess…well done Kel and Happy Mothers Day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I still feel satisfied after a clean, but not as much as I used to. Thanks Sue. I must say that Reeve does enjoy the whole dustpan and broom experience….and I am not just saying that!

      Happy Mother’s Day to you too. xo


      1. Aha. It’s the Never Ending Story, except without all the weird characters. I can never be 100% satisfied! Something I probably shouldn’t say too loudly either 😉


  2. I’m currently basking in the fact that I can pop my littlest one in a high chair and clean the living and eating area in no time flat. And that it stays like that until the other kids get home. Of course, by the time hubby walks in the door (about 30 minutes after school pick up) the place looks like a bomb hit it. I don’t think he believes me that it ever gets clean!


    1. Oh I remember those days Amy. Mess was controlled to one specific area….bless them. Now you find it in super weird places, like the ceiling fan, or smeared over your cherised photoframes. Thanks for reading. xo


  3. I really needed to read this tonight, after I got teary when I finally got to unload the dishwasher. The dishwasher that I thought was full of clean dishes – BUT – It turns out that I didn’t turn it on after loading it. The one cleaning job I thought I did get done today – I didn’t even do!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh look on the bright side….you didn’t have to unload the dishwasher :). I do this all the time. I get distracted too easily so forget to turn it on!
      Thanks for reading. xo


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