A screaming and uneasy toddler can be a very hard thing to control. When they have one of their episodes, they can make you cry, laugh (hysterically), question yourself, and sometimes make you just want to leave the house and move to another planet.

We all want our babies to be happy, so why don’t they just get it. Stop being unreasonable child….Mummy knows best.

Take this advice below. Or leave it. Up to you.

So we all have those days, or hours, or moments, or nightmares (where it’s really real), or every second of the day where we want our child to……………..

STOP, please with your crying!

STOP, please with your muddled words while you are crying!

STOP, please with your muddled words, and crying, and asking for Daddy while I feel like a helpless/unloved/have done so much for you since you were born…..mother!

Sorry. There is no 3 step cure that I have miraculously found, or a special pill to give them (I think that might be illegal), or even a quick ‘Anthony Robbins Will Solve Everything Shit In Our Lives’, program that will turn them back into their normal selves.

BUT….I found DISTRACTION works a treat! Or bribing them with all the chocolate in your house, but that wears off after a few days and what can top chocolate really.

All of us Parents have been there. Your kid is screaming blue murder and you want them to stop.

You will do anything…TO.MAKE.THEM.STOP…………..ANYTHING!

Well, in my opinon*, I think there are different levels to every child’s ‘screams/break downs’. It does depend on their age, but I am giving the description below based on a 2 year old (my 2 year old)…..

+Your child is upset, screaming, looking at you like you are the worst parent in the world.
+They are so upset that you are crying too, and you feel like this is the end of life itself…no one else has any idea what is going down in your household – except for a radius of 2 kilometres around you!
+You give them a cuddle to calm them down and they turn into a Cirque Du Soleil acrobat….so awesome, but so not a cool time to do it.
+You can’t reason with them….it’s like talking to a screaming, farting, crying creature that doesn’t understand pure sense or just life in general.

Throw whatever you’re holding into the air (but not the child please), and observe the screaming subjects reaction. It could be the dinner you are preparing, the handbag that you adore , or just the sanity you are trying to keep (even if it is just hanging by a thread).

There should be a loud ‘Bang, Crash, Break‘. Then you look at the ‘Subject in Questions’ face. They should have stopped crying/being loud/being painful….hopefully. If they start up again, then repeat the above. If they still don’t get it, go and ask Mr Google what to do, or cry in your room until you can call for help.

There may a look of confusion on your child's face after your DISTRACTION...similar to the one above.
There may a look of confusion on your child’s face after your loud DISTRACTION…similar to the one above. (Reeve at 5 months old).

+Offspring is upset, but no so much where you can’t handle them. This might come in the scenario where it is dinner time, and they repeat “I am hungry, I am hungry, I am hungry, I can say this all night until you crack”.
+Tears come and go. There is some naughty behaviour going on, and everyone knows this with just a glance at each other. But no one wants to break their guard.
+Dinner is served and there is a meltdown. What they asked for/love usually is now not what they want.

Me: “Oh look, Peter Rabbit (*insert child’s favourite character here), has come to play and eat your dinner.”
Child: (looks at you strangely, but they know where this story is going.)
Me: “Peter Rabbit will now eat all your vegetables and dinner because you don’t seem to want it”.
Child: (still knows where this story is going, but maybe budges a little).
Me: “Mr Tod has now come along and eaten Peter Rabbit because he didn’t eat your dinner quick enough. You should have probably eaten your dinner sooner, because Peter Rabbit is no longer with us.”
Child: (eats their dinner super quick with no fuss).

Run, Peter Rabbit, Run. And make sure you eat your veges on the way. (image from www.examiner.com)
Run, Peter Rabbit, Run. And make sure you eat your veges on the way.
(image from http://www.examiner.com)

+You are driving in your car and it is peak hour on the roads. There is some serious road rage happening around you.
+Your child in the back decides it would be best to start kicking the chair in front of them, asking for their window down, and constantly yelling out “MUMMY what are you doing? MUMMA, what’s wrong MUMMY? MUMMY?”.


Turn that awesome music in your car to full power….OR

Say, “Oh look up there in the sky. Can you see the butterfly? Now can you see the Chinese singing dog? Did you see how the butterfly ate the Chinese singing dog and then turned into a dragon that likes to talk to fairies? Now did you see how the dragon decided to go sit in the back of his Mum’s car and be super quiet because if he didn’t shit would go down?

I promise your kid will be looking for this made up creature all the way home, allowing you some sort of quiet to concentrate on the important job of driving!

Distraction is the key people.

If you can’t make up weird stories to distract your kids from their meltdowns, just go borrow one of your kids books. I know there is some super weird stuff happening on my kids’ bookshelf.

Quick Reeve! Look up in the sky. Your Chinese Dog Dragon friend thingy is back. (Reeve at 19 months old).
Quick Reeve! Look up in the sky. Your Chinese Dog Dragon friend thingy is back. (Reeve at 19 months old).

So I hope I have given you some interesting tips for Distraction for your child when you are at your wits end!

If you have any other tips for me, I welcome them in my Comment Section below please. If you would like me to make up a weird fantasy land story so you can use on your child, please let me know and I will forward you one – I have heaps of ideas :).

Love (as Reeve says),


p.s. *Yes this is my opinion. Not something that I have a ‘degree’ in, or ‘certificate’ in…just only had the priveleged job of being a ‘mother’…but what does that mean these days.

I had to put the asterisk these days, because there are unusual people that have to comment on things as ‘professionals’ apparently.


Friday Frolics


  1. Chinese dog dragon?? I want some of what you’re on! 🙂 And btw, what’s with the asking for Daddy thing? My response to that is, “He’s at work, having fun, away from screaming children, that’s where he is!” Doesn’t work but makes me feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am super creative Sami, that’s where I get my strange ideas from ;). Yeah Reeve always asks where Matt is. I’m just the slave that does everything for him at home….Matt is the favourite. xo


  3. Yes I completely agree although sometimes Zach knows when I am trying to distract him! We’ll be in the car and he’ll have the hum and I’ll say oh look what’s that and he goes, noooo mummy, repeatedly, followed by don’t talk mummy! I can’t help but laugh which makjes him even worse! Why do they pick the car journeys? The other day we were driving home and the whole way he was whining get me pout mummy, want to get out, want to sit on mummy’s lap! Nightmare! #FridayFrolics

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have no idea why they pick the car journeys Lisa. I think it’s because we are trying to concentrate and they will do their damn best to snap us out of that concentration!

      I’m lucky Reeve hasn’t caught on that I am distracting him, unlike your Zach :). I hope I get another few months out of him yet. Thanks for reading. xo


  4. I love the idea of threatening Peter Rabbit, can’t wait until he’s old enough to understand. In the meantime I’m going with humming loudly, whilst rocking back and forth with my fingers in my ears.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am a bit of a bitch when I threaten Peter Rabbit, but hey, a desperate woman goes to desperate measures. I may cause the poor kid some nightmares down the track.

      Oh I feel for you hun with the rocking back and forward. We all have those days. I had one just yesterday with my pushes-me-to-the-limit-son :). Thanks for reading. xo

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I really try and be creative to distract him :). I have been on the edge too many times whilst I am driving and it gets a touch dangerous. So I have to make up weird stories! Thanks


  5. Distraction can be wonderful and help in all sorts of situations – there comes a point with some children when they know what you are trying to do lol – that’s when we just have to get more creative 🙂 #twinklytuesday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I will have to come up with some really weird distraction tools when my kid gets a bit older. He definitely is starting to catch on to my distraction methods ;). Thanks for reading. x


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