Don’t worry everyone, this blog isn’t about my views on the gay community. I do support gay rights, but that’s another story.
No, this is about how shit I am at getting the words to a song correct.
I love music. Always have, always will. My family always had music on in the house when I was growing up….the radio, vinyl records, CD’s, or just us singing loudly and so out of tune. We listened to all types of music….everything from Boney M (me and my cousins still have a thing for their Christmas album. Shutup!….it was part of our childhood), to Kenny Rogers, to Live (before Ed Kowalcyzk went all preachy weird on us), to anything that really was worth listening to.
So you would think I would be an expert on how to listen and sing along to a song correctly. Nope, not really.
Recently, I was singing that song ‘Take Me To Church’, you know that one? Google it if you don’t know. Now, I thought they were singing “Gay Men” in the chorus. Just picture me walking around the house, singing at the top of my voice:
“Gaaaay, Gaaay Men, Gaaay Men”. What an awesome song.
To my surprise (and embarrassment), they were singing “Amen”…..it all makes so much more sense now. But I know there are a few of you out there who were singing the same as me, right?…..Right?
To my defence, the music clip has two guys kissing. I put two and two together, and made a decision that the song lyric was “Gay Men”…..because I am a dumbarse.
My friend (who is no longer my friend) corrected this little mistake made by me, by laughing in hysterics whilst pointing at me, shouting “Ahahaha! That is so funny….you were singing Gay Men instead of Amen, ahahahahahahahaahaha!!”. Then proceeded to tell everyone in our vicinity that I had well and truly stuffed up and that he will never forget my stupid mistake, never ever. The embarrassment is something I will never ever forget either. Every time I hear this song now I have to turn it off….the reminder kills me.
Back in the olden days when I was a teenager, there were no handy computers to jump onto Google and find out what the hell Backstreet Boys were singing about. No, the only way to solve this problem was tape the song when you heard it on radio (or just go buy the bands’ cassette – but those things were bloody expensive), then replay it over and over again, while pausing, rewinding, fast forwarding and nearly breaking the cassette/stereo. I would write the song lyrics down on how I heard them in my little notebook. Then when I got a bit older, I just sang and hoped for the best (I wasn’t wrong very often).
Waterfalls (TLC) – I thought they were singing…..
“Don’t go Jason Waterfalls”
(correct lyrics are, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls”)…..
I honestly thought this song was about a guy called Jason, whose last name just happened to be Waterfalls. Apparently my old mate Jason Waterfalls who I have been singing about all these years, does not exist…….Whoops.
Just A Girl (No Doubt) – my interpretation was…..
“I’m just a girl, living in captivity, oh bula bone makes me worry so”
(correct lyrics are, “I’m just a girl, living in captivity, your rule of thumb makes me worry some”)…..
Sometimes I would just make up my own language if I didn’t understand the lyrics….after all, there were some crazy drugged up 90’s bands, so maybe I was channeling their weird thoughts.
This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race (Fall Out Boy) – I heard…..
“This ain’t a scene, it’s a dead horse race”
(correct lyrics are, “This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamned arms race”)….
I believe a dead horse race would be so much more interesting to see Fall Out Boy. My lyrics are better.
Whenever, Wherever (Shakira) – this is what I heard….
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains”
(correct lyrics are, well, they are actually the correct lyrics)…..
Woohoo!! I got one right. But that’s just a weird thing to sing about Shakira…so weird.
There are plenty more songs I got wrong, but I think I have humiliated myself enough here. You can either stop laughing at me or stop laughing at yourself, as I am sure all of you out there have stuffed up a song lyric on occasion.
So you are probably asking what the hell is the point to this blog? Well there is no point really. Just maybe that it is okay to laugh at yourself. Or maybe I just have very bad hearing when it comes to tunes. We all stuff up sometimes….even us superhero Mums!
I really have to get my act together before Reeve becomes a teenager though. Can you imagine how he is going to pull the piss out of me for singing the wrong words to a song. I can’t and won’t be humiliated by my teenage son for that.
Now next time you hear me sing a song and you know that I am singing it wrong, just leave me alone man! I have concreted those words into my head and I don’t want to be devastated if I am singing it wrong. Just giggle to yourself and go Google the song lyrics. Maybe I am the one that is singing it right. Probably not though.
So how about all you guys out there put down some of your funny stories about stuffing up song lyrics. I am sure you could think of some if you tried. Put them in the Comments below so everyone can laugh at you :). Share this blog through Facebook with all your friends so we can all laugh at them too!
p.s. I went to the Ed Sheeran concert the other night and didn’t sing out loud to one song. I was so scared that I was going to get it wrong and then everyone will turn around and point and laugh at me (because they would obviously hear me over the thousands of screaming fans). He was brilliant though. But he did sing a couple of wrong words in his songs….according to me anyway.